Weblog

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

  • Thanksgiving is ruined!

    My aunt decided yesterday that she'd work on Thanksgiving day for an extra $200 and suggested that we have Thanksgiving dinner today.

    Both my mom and my brother had plans today but those had to be canceled.
    My dad had 3 days off for Thanksgiving but unfortunately he won't be eating dinner with us because he has to go to work on a regular day.
    I agreed to get up at 4am to help my brother preparing the food but I didn't keep in mind that: I'll only be able to get 2 hours of sleep at the least, I'd be in the kitchen for the majority of the time, if I decide to follow the schedule I set up for my online classes then I'd have to find a way to get at least 5 hours of working in, I'd also have to go to rehab at 5:10pm then afterwards have my 1 on 1 with my counselor and considering I'd only be able to get 2 hours of school in from the time I get done eating to when I have to leave for rehab I'd have to do another 3 when I get back which is going to be after 8:30pm most likely.

    Everyone in my family had something to do today whether it was for work or for fun or something we have to do and all this pressure and stress was just shat on us because my aunt wanted an extra $200.

    Is it really worth it?

    Note to self: Do your body a favor- say "Fuck it" and put everything aside and take a long ass nap after everything is done.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

  • Combat Arms (and other PC games): Should all PC games become unavailable?

    This evening, at approximately 4:30pm, my Combat Arms account has been banned until tomorrow night at 5pm because someone had reported me for hacking/illegal program use.

    When it comes to gaming, I prefer to be an honest and true player which means no hacking or glitching at all unless of course someone else is non stop hacking or glitching then I think it's fair to piss them off just as much as I am. It's sad how everyone assumes that you're a hacker because you've been raping them for the past 5 minutes and their team sucks major monkey balls. All because of one person getting butt hurt from getting a serious ass whooping, I had lost 600+ GP that I could've really used at the time, along with XP so I could rank up and unlock more weapons and/or accessories and I won't be able to play again until 24 hours from the time my account was banned. I realized this a long time ago, anyone can assume you're hacking and there's no way how you can prove whether you are or are not, so they take advantage of all the little report features that are openly available to them, which is: Hacking/Illegal program use, Profanity/Harassment and everyone's favorite- Other. Yes, that does mean without any real reason, anyone can kick the player out of the match. If stuff like this is so easy for people to do, then why are PC games still available for everyone to use to bash on people and deprive them of enjoying the gameplay?

Sunday, 15 November 2009

  • I don't deserve a penis

    Community service- today, was a lot better. I'm not the kind of person who easily knows how to read a woman's actions or stuff like that but from what happened today I think we were actually flirting. After everything I've read and heard, I have a strong feeling that I was at the point where she's comfortable being around me because I had broken that personal space barrier. Or maybe it was just a little 5 hour fling we had. She was the first to check out, which I was hoping she wouldn't and that I'd be before her, and I didn't even catch up to her to at least ask for her number. I pretty much blew my chances with her as of now, but she has community service again on Friday and I'm trying to get an extension because my hours are due on Wednesday so I'll be able to talk to her again and hopefully get her number. I'm so disappointed and ashamed of myself right now, I was doing so good throughout this whole thing and when everything is great I put myself in the position where it's my fault I didn't get her number and now I feel like shit again.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

  • What is it about women that make me crazy in some way?

    Couldn't be any taller than 5'4", perfect legs, ass like a wonderland, round face, dark brown eyes, brown hair, amazing smile, and I've only known her for 5 hours!

    Walking into the Salvation Army building to start my community service, reeking of piss and other nasty smells, old weird people in the dining hall and weird set up, I would imagine that there would be a few unsavory characters that I'd have to be working with and the awkward interactions and such. But I was definitely not expecting to be working with a girl my age that was just any girl. You'd probably imagine her looking kinda like a man, 5'10" tall and was named Burt if I hadn't explained her already but I was stunned for like 5 seconds when I first saw her. She wasn't the kind of girl who'd be shy and only talk to me when she had to, there was actual socializing going on as well as joking and making fun of the weird staff members we had to work for and all that jazz. I wasn't about to make a move or anything simply because I've only known her for 5 hours but I'll have another opportunity tomorrow. I know I shouldn't show any insecurities and just ask her out on a date and be brave enough to accept whatever response she gives me but I can't help but think "Well, maybe I'm not her type and she'll say no." This is so ridiculous, and the fact that her sorta-kinda cousin was there and me and him are friends just made it even more awkward and hard to do it. Why can't the easy button be real?

Friday, 13 November 2009

  • Click me!

    This is officially my favorite Jerry Springer episode this month. It's about time to see a pimp get his ass handed to him.

    I was suppose to do a little update yesterday but I've been flooded with work lately. To keep things simple, rehab is going great- I really enjoy it and it gets me out of the house but I just don't really see the need to be there since I'm convinced that I'm not gonna start smoking again- six weeks clean and still going! I have 5 hours of community restitution tomorrow and another 5 on sunday so if possible I'm going to try to get another hour on both of them so that way I'll have all my hours done and over with. I'm now officially out of my old high school and I'm now taking Keystone Online classes with 6 classes this year and hopefully another 7 or 8 next year so I'll be able to graduate a semester or quarter early. Although things are 110% better, my dad is still skeptical which doesn't surprise me considering he always either argues with me or just talks about what I have to do this day and/or that day instead of just talking to me. On Monday I had asked him for some money so I could go shopping since my closet (which is 5 feet wide) isn't even half full and he didn't even give me money until today but he told my mom, this were his exact words, "I'm giving this to you because I didn't want to give it to Keola". So obviously he still thinks that I'm a "dope fein", he gave my mom $250 so I can get clothes and he told her to put whatever money she had left over on his desk and I ended up spending $249.43 so I had to put 57 cents on his desk along with the receipts- I personally thought it was a dick move but he did say he wanted whatever money she had left. Saved $180 at kohls though! Now my closet is more than half full. I was thinking, after group on Wednesday, that maybe I should bring my dad in for family night to show him that I am actually changing and doing better but I know for sure that he wouldn't last 5 minutes in a room with 10+ teenagers and be able to follow the rules and expectations at the same time. But oh well, things were better when he decided to not take interest in my life so I think it's best if he just went back to that little world of his and stayed there.